Practice Your Purpose

<p>For the past few months I have been living in monotony. Monday through Friday are always strictly for work and my days are consumed with numbers and figures of things I don't care about, money that doesn't belong to me. The days have been made easier with coffee and cigarettes, crutches to keep me awake, alert. Nights pass by with the help of wine to fall asleep, so that I can hope to dream of something better than this. Always on my mind throughout the week is Saturday night when I can finally let loose (maybe sometimes a little bit too loose) and I can go out with my friends, have a few too many jack and cokes and hope to wake up in my own bed the next day. Oh the next day, Sunday, how sweet you are. I always wake up early and either scramble to find my pants, or to get a drink of water if I'm lucky. Then I'll usually go back to sleep for a while until I finally wake up and I'm able to be productive by getting some movies off of my Netflix instant queue.
So what? What's the point? Well, the point is, when I write it all out this is actually a pathetic excuse for an existence. People laugh and joke about people they went to high school with who are now 24, living with their parents, feeding some addiction or unhealthy habits and going nowhere in life and I am that person. I'm the townie that people joke about. I realized this on several of my recent regular Sunday's after nights I don't remember and probably don't really want to remember either. It's taken countless less than graceful moments and some downright foolish and embarrassing moments for me to take a step back and ask myself "What the hell are you doing?" I realized that I lost my purpose this year, I allowed myself to forget who I am and the reasons I am here. I put my heart into someone else and I lost myself, and them as well. I turned into just a body, void of any emotion or soul.
I've been doing yoga for about 2 years but up until recently, I haven't actually been practicing yoga. I've been doing poses and I even have a usual flow I follow, but I haven't actually been practicing real yoga. Like when I'm just sitting there, my mind is always on what happened months ago, what I didn't do right, what I hope I'll get another chance to do but it's never just present. I have never been just present. I have never just set an intention for my day so I could have a purpose every day until one day I just did. Then again the next day. And finally I realized what yoga is to me, it's living with a purpose every single day, and it's made life beautiful. In just the past few weeks, practicing yoga has changed my life and I hope I can share my meaningful life right here while living with a purpose and while I work on bettering myself everyday. All of my terrible habits are on the way out and I'm ready to open my heart to self love, love in it's purest sense. Love is my purpose and life is beautiful.
Peace&love♥